2014 was a terrific year for film. It was also the year of terrific little indies that took the world and award season by storm. Begin Again, The Guest, Nightcrawler, Whiplash, Inherent Vice and The One I Love all made my top 10 for the best films of 2014.

Science fiction also had quite a good year when Guardians of the Galaxy went onto become the highest grossing film of 2014, a movie that no one thought would be much of a success. Although Edge of Tomorrow didn’t do as well at the domestic box office, it was still an amazing film and 2014 was one of the most amazing years science fiction has had in a very long time.

However, smacked in between some of these indie gems and masterpieces with gripping performances and risky storytelling, was simply one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my entire life. No hyperbole here. Under the Skin, staring Scarlet Johansson, is a pretentious, slow as molasses, dry, confusion movie with barely any plot. And yet, once again, this opinion is among the minority.

Why People Love Under the Skin…

Under the Skin holds an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes from critics and an audience score of 54%, which in my opinion is much too high. Some critics hailed Under the Skin as the 21st century 2001: A Space Odyssey and a film the late master Stanley Kubrick would be proud of. So you’d think being a massive Kubrick fan that I would have loved this film. However, not only do I loathe Under the Skin for its perpetual boredom and for the horrible performances but comparing this to any of Stanley Kubrick’s masterpieces is nothing more than film-art blasphemy.

Why I Hate Under the Skin…

Under the Skin is kind of like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Except the sheep’s clothing is a pretentious art film and the wolf is just a mess of a movie. I mean, the pacing to this film was like watching paint dry and as someone who has actually watched paint dry, I was more entertaining by that then this movie. Sure, Scarlett Johansson is a treasure but sticking her in a van with a terrible English accent while she tries to pick up real men for sex was just hard to watch. Is this a prank show or a sci-fi movie? I don’t even think the filmmakers could decide.

There’s a scene in this film that’s so monotonous and stagnant (the cake scene) that I had to turn off the movie, shut down my computer, go out, take deep breaths and then finish it several hours later. I’ve never had such a visceral yet hateful reaction to a film since Babel, which is one I don’t like what-so-ever.

Under the Skin is nothing more than a HORRIBLE WASTE OF TIME that made me angry, furious and irritated for spending the run time of this film when I should have been sitting in silence in an empty room humming to myself. That would have been a more productive use of my time.

And yes, you could say that Under the Skin got under my skin. We here at The Controversy Corner are pro-pun.